decided to skip school today and give myself a day off but what did i get intstead? a small fight with my parents. i didn't expect this for something so simple. geez arin, what did you expect hah? nothing's free in this world. they wanted to know what is up with me since i've been going around with a 'sour face' and giving everyone a silence treatmeant lately. i told them nothing was wrong, everything is fine, everything is going so great i can't even believe it. it feels like riding on a unicorn with ben ten destroying all the aliens with our laser beams. there's nothing wrong with me, just fucking leave me alone you two. i didn't say that obviously. i just stood there and said 'nothing' which was not entirely a lie, there was pretty much nothing to discuss about anyway. even if i did tell them what exactly was wrong, they still wouldn't understand.
as i looked at the photographs of me and my friends stuck on my wall, i thought of nothing but 'how did that happy bitch turn into this fucked up girl?' for someone who has always been mentally and physically 'alone' i tend to keep silence but at the same time keeping myself hard as iron. Ona said, 'dude sometimes you need to let people in and see how long they'll stay' how long they'll stay? hmmmm, according to my past experiences, they won't stay that long. i've learned my lesson well and managed to build a wall big enough around me so that people won't walk in and out of my life that easy anymore.
current song playing: The Chase - Late Night Revival
current mood: as flat as my twins.
gah, i feel like an unsolved puzzle, something doesn't feel right. something is missing. but im not sure what that something is.
No comments:
Post a Comment