When I was younger, my favorite place of the house would be the store room. It was basically the place where my mom kept her sewing machine kits. Her sewing machine looks nothing like what people buy from the shop nowadays, it's old. It has that steel wheel on the side and I'd love to play with it and pretend I was driving a car.
Once I accidentally did something stupid to the sewing machine and it wouldn't work. I cried for ages while trying to fix it but instead I just made it worse. My mom wasn't at home at the time and all these thoughts of her being mad at me were running through my childish mind. In the end my mom found out and I was grounded. Somehow, I was relieved that she did.
Being the little me who was afraid of everything, I'd cry for every single rules I broke. I'd be scared to tell lies to my parent, especially my mom. I'd be scared to even think of making up lies to my parents.
I remember I made a promise to myself a while ago that I won't fall in love till I finish my high school. Being a bad promise keeper that I am, I broke that very promise millions time before. Then I realized, it wasn't love I fell for, it was just the lust. There is a big difference between them two you know.
You can never tell when you're in love 'cause love is one strange thing that comes in very unexpected ways. But it's easy to tell when you're caught in a lust with someone. It's when you fall only for their appearances, you like it when they start with their sweet talks that give you the sugar rush everytime, their very own way of treating you that makes you think someone is truly care for you. But you don't know what they do behind your back. No, you never know.
I believe when you're young you want everything to be all about fun. The chasing game in love and shit. I've come acrossed different guys whom I have foolishy misjudged. It seems to me that I'm more attracted to guys who are simply jerkass in love more than those who are good, those who try to keep their loyalty to you, hahaha.
'' Hahahaaa WHAT THE FUCK MUCH? guess we are both complicated, I'm so attracted to guys who are heartbreakers, who lie and cheat. I mean, they start off nice and everything, but you hear ffrom other people about their reputation and exs, but you don't listen, so in the end you get your heart broken, again. Ugh, I wished things were simpler :) and your welcome, anything for my naphtalene friend :) ''
- Yes, I remember someone told me this long time ago :)
Damn, I don't know what's wrong with me. ;S but that's okay 'cause I won't take things to a serious level just yet. There will be a time, yes there will be. If I can survive through my 17th then God must really loves me.
Now that I'm older and am supposed to be wiser, things change. Having arguments with my parents is one of the those thing I like to do. Sometimes I do wish I still have the kid's impulse, when you know something is bad and you are not supposed to do it and you leave them alone instead of digging for more informations. I've grown to realize that as you get older, the curiosity within you grows too and that is why the saying ' curiosity kills the cat ' is there to prove you wrong.
Time sure has its own way to fly so fast. Next thing I know I'll wake up in a morning being a 15 years old girl. It's scary when you really think about it. It's scary how everything doesn't seem to change a single bit but when you look back, everything is different. It's scary knowing that every breath you take brings you a step closer to your finish line.
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