Do you know what I love about my grandma? She tells stories. All kind of stories. She tells tories about the world war and how she and her family would run away for the sake of their lifes, about how she met my grandfather, about how to get ourselves back when life knocks us down. Her stories are amazing, just like her. Sometimes she talks about 'the unvisible' just to scare the shit out of me but little does she know, she'll fail 'cause I won't be scared at all. Not when I know once I wake up the next morning, I'll find myself wrapped under her two strong protective arms.
Today is a Friday. I remember how my heart would thud a little faster upon hearing every motorcycles that passed by my house 2 weeks ago. Never have I thought he'd there again, but he was. He made it all the way through the rain. Thank you for that, boy. I love how we'd just joke around and how he said I was still heavy and my diet treatment is a waste of time. And the fact that my maths skill is beyond anyone's expectation, don't even bother asking me what is 17 minus 2 'cause that'd take forever for me to answer. Rooftop has never failed me, not even once. I wish the day has lasted longer, I wish I could keep you much longer. ahahaha.
I woke up next to my mom on that very Sunday. Noticing my present, she gave a goodmorning kiss on the cheek and wished me a happy birthday. Or as Iona likes to call it, ' happy birthTay ', or as how Bryan wished me, ' happy bitchday '. ANYWAY, whatever you like to call it. Thank you everyone. :) I really really appreciated it. I had switched off the phone the night before, that way I had lower my expectations and kill the dissapointments. Turned out, luck was on my side that day. Expect the unexpected, right ?
Later on that day, I treated myself by shopping my ass off which took hours. Once we were home, the cousin wanted to make our very own special meal, so Fettucini (which sounds more like failurecini) was served. It has been a great day really, once again thank you to those who have wished me a happy birthday. <3
To my bitchesssss here, let's get on with our plan on renting the apartment and fuck CherBer all night. ;) we big dreamers in this small town.
Yesterday (yesterTay? -.-) was very emotional for me. Once we arrived at the airport, after checking in the bagage and shit, I went to the restroom. The same stall I was in 6 months ago. Nothing's changed, still the same blue door. I was there for at least 10 minutes, I let it all out, I couldn't help it okay? It's not like I wanted it to happen I just couldn't. The toilet cleaning ladies were staring. I'm sure they understand 'cause they had smiles on their faces. Smiles that told me it was a good cry. Once we boarded in there was a battle going on inside me, I tried distracting myself by listening to the iPod which kept on playing mellow songs on shuffle, so fuck that. When the plane took off from Soekarno - Hatta, the Temper Trap soundtrack was playing and I could feel a bomb had been dropped somewhere inside me. I bursted out again. I could really use 'cry baby' as my middle name.
It felt as though I'd been on the plane forever. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. My eyes were sore. The 2 hours delay was a total bullshit. I got home around 2 am but something kept me awake for at least half an hour. My mind raced back to 15 days ago.
I remember lying on my bed onlining with my miles away friends, telling them I'd be going back tomorrow. I told them I brought presents too. The Shauney sheep, Miss RabbityRabbit, The Red Racooney, Mr White Strips and Ze Zlimegreeny Zombie, haha yeah I named all the dolls. I remember that day I went to the hospital to get my heart checked and my blood test taken. The result's out now and I planned on telling here but then sometimes something's better left unsaid till the right moment comes. Right ?
Anyway, to be really honest, as honest as Arin can be, I wasn't that excited at all. I felt like I've wasted my dad's money on taking this short trip home. I know I was screwed up. My ego has got the best of me. I stayed up all night thinking of nothing but fuck it's too late to take everything back now. I kept it all to myself, I didn't dare to tell anyone 'cause I know they'd be like ' what the fuck is wrong with you, Rin ? isn't this something you've been wanting since January? meeting up with those loved ones? especially you know who? ' or something like ' you don't want me to suck your head in the toilet bowl to clean the mess in there for you, right? ' or someone'd be happy and go ' great then we can go to the thong store together and get you one for your coming 15th birthday :D ' see, my life is full of nothing but bunch of bullshit complications.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I didn't want this. I just wasn't excited as how I should be thinking of what kind of dissapointments I may get. If I didn't then why did I even bother wasting my times looking for tickets online where I could be watching mychonny's videos on youtube?
See, you're confused, aren't you? me too. My confusion has turned everything around 'cause things were going great in the end. : )
2 weeks is such a short time yet it's the most exciting 'cause I got to learn alot. I understand why He let me get away with my selfishness easy, I understand why He let whatever happened at rooftop on that very Friday happened to me, I understand why He did all this.
I've learned my lesson, the hard way and it was fun.
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