Blah and Blah Some More

Jasmine Chen says (10:57 PM):

u do think too much

should just enjoy life

go with the flow

thank you Jasmine, you know I'm trying real hard here. xx

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earlier on he asked me, what is it that I like about rain.

I like rain because of the thunder that comes along with it, the sound of wind blowing, the warm feeling I get whenever I sneak myself deeper into my comforter, the freezing room temperature and the dews that I see on my room window as I pull up the curtain in the next morning.

But there's another reason why I like rain;

I like rain because it brings back memories, it reminds me of you. of everything. how we used to talk so late at night on msn in June till I fell asleep accidentally, also when you were at my house on that very Friday. I was once like rain too, a hurricane. A terrible one. Instead of blowing wind, I 'blew' my own self. A gush of water went streaming down my face, I could hear the 'bang' sound somewhere inside me as if a bomb has just exploded. It was uncontrollable, my chest hurt trying to balance the amount of inhaled and exhaled air going in and out my body. I was full of water and her words are the fire that I should destroy, but instead I got defeated somehow.

I sat there and listened to what she had to say about you. It changed the way I think of you. I thought you were better but I guess I was wrong. I was wrong big time, wasn't I? I thought everything hasn't changed, everything hasn't fallen apart, but it fucking has. It hurts, it fucking does.

But like water, I try to go with the flow, I'm aiming for the ocean now. Maybe one day along the way, I'll evaporate up to the sky and combine with the dust particles in the atmosphere and turn myself into a cloud (candy floss) and as I get intolerably heavier, I won't be able to float anymore in the air. That is when I'll start to release pieces of me down the sky like bullets and I'll become rain, once again. (hopefully not hurricane, this time.)

Goodnight lovelies.